My friend, Mr Mikel Rives Rives, has endorsed me for President. Being president of LANES.org, our non profit New England storytelling organization, has given me the skills needed to run the country.
By their nature storytellers are so independent they make herding cats look like a walk in the park. Getting congress to vote in my Pie Bill will be much easier than getting storytellers to agree where to hold our annual conference.
I shall run under the banner of The Once Upon a Time Party. It’ll be a write in campaign powered by elbow grease and ink pens. As President I will listen to your stories, host a National Corn Party, tell our collective tales, and declare every Thursday Ride your Bike to Pie Day.
A new law will be passed that will require every hospital to provide every newborn child with their very own board book titled Growing Up With Pie, every new parent with a bottle of red wine and every citizen with brie cheese, Wheat Thins and The Lord of the Rings box set.
I expect once the word gets out I will be as good as elected.
My name is Tony Toledo and I approve this message.
March 23, 2016