I’m sure it’s hard for you to imagine me as anyone but the subtle, soft spoken man typing to you now. There was time though when I was ornery.
When I was 17 I signed up to go in the army after I graduated from Tinora High. Before I reported to Uncle Sam though my girl friend threw a going away party for me. She made me a Flag cake. All my friends gathered round to pat me on the back and practice saluting.
Those same friends gobbled up the Chex Mix that Greg Scantlen and I made. You know that nice munchie treat made with Chex Mix cereal, walnuts, raisins, M and Ms and what ever else you wanted to throw in it. Well, Greg and I thought it would be a hoot to mix in a cup of… dry dog food. It all got eaten. He and I just ate around the round bits.
At our 10 year high school reunion I confessed what I had done. Two my friends were ready to punch me so I said, “Wait! Think back to that long ago fall season… didn’t your hair have a beautiful sheen to it? Didn’t you notice how tartar free your teeth were? Don’t you remember that yearning you had to lift you leg? What about that urge to smell your friends butts?”
Once they started laughing I knew I was safe. I hope they forget I wrote this by the time our next class reunion rolls around. Or I might be forced to eat some special Chex Mix.