Were you Born Gross or did you Work Hard to Get that Way?

In 1989 I was working the night shift for a group home. There were ten disabled folks living in the house. During the waking hours there were five staff there. During the over nights we could get by with two staff.

There was a weekly staff meeting every Wednesday morning at 9 am. I didn’t quite get why us night shift folks had to attend. Everything that was discussed concerned things about the clients while they were AWAKE. Nothing was every talked about how we could do our night shift better. From 11 pm to 6 am all the clients in the house were dreaming. Dreaming was what I longed to be doing in those early morning hours instead of sitting in that meeting till 11.

To make myself stay awake I would start off that staff meeting with a joke. At the house there was one client who loved to take such long showers and get so relaxed that they would poop in the shower. It happened a few times a month.

Well, before the next staff meeting I melted a Hersey bar in the microwave. I put my gloves on, smeared them with chocolate, walked into the staff meeting and said, “I am sick of being the one who always ends up cleaning up this mess in the shower. This is just driving me crazy!” Then I proceeded to lick the chocolate off the gloves.

My boss had brought in a box of donuts. As I licked the chocolate off for some reason nobody was in the mood to eat. So I got as many donuts as I wanted. One fellow looked at me and asked, “Were you born gross or did you work hard to get that way?” I smiled, licked some more chocolate and said, “That is for you to decide.”


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